BACK TO THE NOW
JOSH.
It had been a week since Laura slipped into the coma, and it felt like a lifetime.
The hospital room was quiet except for the steady beep of the monitors and the faint hum of the heater. The world outside these walls didn’t seem real anymore. I barely remembered walking off the practice field, driving here, or stepping into her room. But the moment I saw her, all of that faded away.
Laura was still, her body too pale against the stark white of the hospital sheets. The rise and fall of her chest, regulated by the machines, was the only sign of life. But she was alive. That thought was the only thing keeping me sane.
I crossed the room to her bedside and immediately took her hand in mine. It was warm, but it didn’t squeeze back. I brought it to my lips and held it there, closing my eyes like she could somehow feel me willing her to wake up.
“I need you, Laura,” I whispered, my voice hoarse.
The chair next to her bed was still where I’d left it, and I sank into it, exhausted. Jess had been helping with the baby while I went to practice. Our baby. My baby girl.
As if on cue, Jess walked in, carrying her in one arm and a bottle in the other. She handed the baby to me with a small, sad smile, and I took her, cradling her like she was made of glass.
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BACK TO THE NOW
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Her tiny face, scrunched up in half–sleep, softened as soon ast the bottle touched her lips. She started drinking, her little fists clenching and unclenching against my chest.
I stared at her, marveling at how small she was, and my heart ached. She didn’t have a name yet. I couldn’t name her without Laura. We were supposed to do that together.
“Remember when I found you two in the kitchen that night?” Jess asked suddenly, breaking the silence.
Her voice startled me, and I glanced up to see her standing near the window, Luke by her side. She was watching Laura, but her lips curved into a faint smile as she continued.
“You thought no one would find you. Then I walked in on you groping my best friend,” she teased, looking at me with a mock grimace. “Uh, I still need to erase that out of my brain!”
A laugh escaped me, soft but genuine. I did remember. How could I forget?
“I remember,” I said, my voice quieter now.
And I did. I remembered every single moment with Laura–the stolen kisses, the laughter, the fights that always ended with us tangled together. But more than that, I remembered every moment without her. And I could say, without a doubt, the ones with her were better.
Jess smiled softly. “You know,” she said, sitting down in the chair opposite me, “when she spoke about you two kissing, I knew. I just knew she fell for you. And that’s the only reason I wasn’t more angry. I saw it on her face. She fell so hard.”
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Jess paused, her expression turning wistful.
“And you,” she continued, “well, you never ever went back for seconds. So despite hating you back then, I knew you felt the same way. Even if you tried to self–sabotage first.”
Luke leaned down to help her stand, but she lingered for a moment longer, her gaze shifting back to Laura. “She’s strong, Josh. She’s going to wake up. You just have to be patient.”
Patient.
I’d never been patient. Laura used to tease me about it. She’d say I couldn’t sit still if my life depended on it. But now, all I could do was wait.
Jess stood and smoothed her sweater, her movements slow and deliberate. “Okay,” she said, turning to me. “You need to go home. Your baby girl needs routine, Josh. The nurses will call if anything changes. Okay?”
I opened my mouth to argue, but the look on her face stopped me. She wasn’t asking; she was telling me.
Jess leaned down and pressed a kiss to the baby’s head before leaving the room with Luke. The door clicked shut softly behind them, and for a moment, the silence was deafening.
I looked back at Laura, still holding the baby. She had finished the bottle, her eyelids fluttering closed in sleep. I gently set her in the portable bassinet the nurses had let me keep in the room and leaned back in my chair, my eyes drifting to Laura again.
“I don’t know how to do this without you,” I admitted, my voice barely above a whisper. “I don’t even know if I can.”
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I rubbed a hand over my face, the weight of everything pressing down on me. “She doesn’t have a name yet. Because I can’t pick one without you. I don’t want to pick one without you. So, you have to wake up, okay?”
I leaned forward, resting my elbows on my knees, my hands clasped tightly together.
“You have to wake up, Laura. You have to,” I repeated, my voice cracking.
The monitors beeped steadily in response, offering no
reassurance. I pressed my lips together, forcing back the tears threatening to spill.
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When I finally leaned back, I stayed there, watching her, silently willing her to open her eyes.
But she didn’t.
Not tonight.
